Thoughts about conflicts

There are ways to avoid conflicts. You can see the situation from the perspective of the other person and you can justify his or her point of view or you can just agree with the other person even if you think that you are right. The problem is that if you do something from the options given above, you'll just be postponing the conflict. You'll be thinking about the problem that there is in the relationship -it can be between friends, lovers, family members, etc.- and it will eat you inside.

So what is my point? Argue! OK maybe I need to explain my point a little bit further than that. 


I am not suggesting finding excuses every day and fight with the people you love, as this will drive them away and they would be right for leaving you. But it is natural from time to time to have a verbal fight with those who are important for you (if the fight gets physical just go away).

It is natural because we are all unique personalities with different traits and opinions. It would be impossible to agree on everything. I think that the most usual cause of arguing among people has to do with our emotions and not so much with practical issues. At least I believe that that is true for younger people because responsible, mature adults usually have practical difficulties to fight for, such as finacial stuff, work related problems, the house, the kids and so on.

 But why do young people fight about? I am mentioning again that all these are the views that were formed by my experiences in life so far. So, I feel that their arguments have to do with their "heart principles". By that I mean, that their emotions take the lead and reason is put aside. Ego, insecuries, what the heart wants are dominant and they may fade their judgement. Especially, when you are absolutely sure that you are right and you deserve to win the fight or get an apology, things can become extremely ugly.  

So, you fight. And you both express your worries and your frustration. And you scream. And you may say some things that you'll regret later. And...then what? The most crucial part is what you do after the fight. If you realize that the other person doesn't really care and love you but he or she just takes advantage of you, then you can break up and keep your distance from him or her. If however you believe that he still consists a valuable part of your life, then things will be a little difficult.

Why? Because you'll have to put your ego aside, stop fighting and go back to your loving state. I know that it is hard to just stop feeling frustrated and angry. But think of how important the other person is for you and the fact that by arguing he/she feels sad and miserable. If you truly love him or her, remember that you promised to yourself that you'll never make them cry or be sorrowful. Just hug them, kiss them and let love replace the anger you were feeling. 

I should clarify that all that talk was about everyday fights. If the reason of your conflict is something serious like cheating or betrayal, only you can know what is the appropriate reaction.

To conclude, arguing is part of our life. You won't find a human that hasn't argued even once in his life. Toddlers before they can even talk clearly, fight for toys. However, you should be careful not to hurt the other person unintentionally -or intentionally- and not to let the fight last for a long time. Because remember that peace and love are much more fun.

So, tell me: why would you start a fight?