Thoughts about my 21st birthday

First of all, Happy Birthday to me 💁

Second of all, this is my second try writing this post. Yesterday afternoon I wrote a post as a draft saying how I am a year older now, and one thing that shows how mature I am becoming as the years go by is the fact that I am trying to think of the feelings of the people around me and not just myself. Well, by yesterday evening I managed to hurt a person I really care about.

So, today is my birthday and I am feeling awful with myself for making a person that I love sad. Because one of the worst feelings is when you know that you are the one who took the smile away from the face of someone important in your life. And that is even more painful when the reason for doing so is a trivial one. In my case, I got upset because of a change of plans. And yes, I know that it sounds stupid but I felt like my already perfectly planned special birthday was ruined.

But what is the point of this unfortunate for me and maybe indifferent to you story? There are no perfect people and there are no perfect days. Take me for example; In my daily life I try hard to control myself from saying something that might offend or hurt somebody by filtering my acts and sayings through other people's perspectives so as not to do or say something that might get misinterpreted. However, there are days or even moments that my selfish instincts dominate and all I can think of is myself and how other people try to criticize me or undermine me or replace me even if that is not what is actually going on. And that is one of my major flaws.

However, the fact that I do have flaws has not prevented me from having perfect moments. Because it is extremely rare to experience a from-beginning-to-end perfect day, because there are boring, stressing, tiring parts or bad incidents that can occur. So, instead of chasing the perfect day try to chase the perfect moment. That is much easier and much more pleasing. Having dinner with my family, playing games with my friends, kissing my boyfriend, acknowledging my flaws and trying to work on them are just a few of my perfect moments.

So, try to fill every day with as many perfect moments as you can.

What is your idea of a perfect moment?

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