Thoughts BEFORE my graduation 🎓

The moment I am drafting this post is July 9 around eleven at night; just a few hours before my graduation. At about 12:30 tomorrow, I'm getting my Bachelor degree in English language and literature. This whole post is about how I'm feeling about it. And right now, I am terrified.


I am scared because my future is calling me. Thoughts about what my next steps for my career should be flood my mind. Knowing what kind of career I want would help sorting things out. Of course, I know that English will play a vital role in it. But the possibilities are endless, my interests are varied and the opportunities are limited. I do have a plan in mind but I can't help feeling overwhelmed by fear considering that I have to decide and be responsible for my future. But the fact that the future is unexpected and unknown stresses me out.

Another reason for my feelings of fear and anxiety has to do with the fact that I have no idea how my graduation day will be like. Thoughts and inner questions like "Am I going to look beautiful?", "How will the ceremony be like?", "Will my guests have a good time?", "Is tomorrow going to be a happy day that I'll cherish forever or it will be a total disaster?" terrorize my mind and make my heart beat faster. A lot of things will be out of my control tomorrow, which means that no matter how diligent or responsible I am, something can go wrong. The traffic on the streets, MB in phones malfunctioning which might create problems in finding a building or communicating with someone are just a few examples. All these thoughts correlate with the uncertainty of the future.

However, I would be a liar if I told you that I am not excited about my graduation. Despite my fears, I do want to experience and see what tomorrow holds for me. Although I am worried that maybe some of my friends don't get along with each other or that my family and friends feel uncomfortable or embarrassed in the presence of one another, I really want to enjoy this significant moment in my life with people that I love. And it is an important moment for me because tomorrow I will have officially crossed one of my personal goals off, which is getting my Bachelor degree with an 8. It was challenging but with a lot of hard work and faith, it actually happened for me.

I don't know what time I will drift off since I have the feeling that my stress will disturb my night sleeping routine but I am full of enthusiasm to get my degree and celebrate it with my family and friends. So, I am guessing that I have bittersweet feelings at the moment but I can guarantee that the sweet feelings outweigh the bitter ones.