I'm Thinking of Reading a Book 💁🏻‍♀️

DISCLAIMER:  What follows is an outburst of emotion during a vulnerable moment I just feel exhausted. I am sick and tired of all the thoughts that flood into my brain and don't leave me at peace. They are always there, all the time. Hopefully, there are times that I am focused on other things and I don't pay attention to them; I don't even notice them. There are other times that I am stronger and I don't let them get to me. I like these moments because I feel in control. The problem is that it is impossible to be like that all the time. When emotions and fears take the lead, there is no going back. I have this constant fear that everything good in my life will disappear. Have you ever experienced how it is like to have one negative thought about yourself and the next instant have a million much worse and hurtful thoughts accompany it? I hope not, because there is nothing you can do to stop them from entering your mind. No matter how hard you try to convin...

I would normally write all the following thoughts, feelings and events in my diary but I decided to share them with the world because I feel that many people struggle with body image and body positivity just like I do. To be honest, I'm pretty anxious about posting about so personal issues of mine but my minor episode may help people -and even myself- feel less alone. I don't want to give the wrong impression, I know that I am a slim girl and I have always been one. I used to eat anything I wanted without worrying about my weight. However, I started caring about the way I look way too much and I lost every bit of self-esteem I had. Things have been worse for a few months now because I've gained weight. A few extra kilos have tormented me all this time. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin anymore and it is even hard to look myself in the mirror. I can't stop thinking the way I looked a summer ago and comparing it with the way I am now.  What makes things e...