Thoughts about (my) body image

I would normally write all the following thoughts, feelings and events in my diary but I decided to share them with the world because I feel that many people struggle with body image and body positivity just like I do. To be honest, I'm pretty anxious about posting about so personal issues of mine but my minor episode may help people -and even myself- feel less alone.

I don't want to give the wrong impression, I know that I am a slim girl and I have always been one. I used to eat anything I wanted without worrying about my weight. However, I started caring about the way I look way too much and I lost every bit of self-esteem I had. Things have been worse for a few months now because I've gained weight. A few extra kilos have tormented me all this time. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin anymore and it is even hard to look myself in the mirror. I can't stop thinking the way I looked a summer ago and comparing it with the way I am now. 

What makes things even trickier for me is that I have lost the healthy attitude I had towards food. I used to restrict and now I tend to overeat - hence the extra kilos. It was one binge eating episode that brought up this post. Honestly, it is not that I ate more than I should have but the fact that not only could I not take food out of my mind but also I couldn't stop myself from eating even at the moment I knew that I was satisfied. 

But what's done is done. I decided to do something about the way I feel instead of just brooding over it. I am not going to change my diet because I do eat clean most of the time. The one thing that I can change and actually improve my situation has to do with exercising. I have never been a fan of gyms and of working out generally. But this has to change. I hope that if I document my progress and share it with you, it may give me the motivation I need to stick with it. I was considering joining a gym but I'm a bit stingy and I decided to follow some workout routines that I found on YouTube at the comfort of my own home. Maybe a working out for a month challenge could be a future post on this blog.

To conclude, I don't know if I will keep up with exercising or if my opinion about it will change but I think that it is worth taking a chance for feeling good about myself again. But what I want you to keep from this is that eating a bit more or more unhealthily sometimes is not a sin and it isn't something that should upset anyone. And one piece of advice that I would like to give to you and to myself is to take at least half of the time and energy that we spend on worrying about our looks and invest it in enriching and broadening our mind.