Thoughts about my 25th Birthday 😓

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This was the first time that I needed so much time to pass before I could talk about my birthday (my birthday was on 6 March). And to be honest, I am still not sure how to express my thoughts and emotions about my birthday this year. This is why I will keep this post short and sweet. 

It might sound irrational, but I feel like I'm going through a quarter-life crisis. It's crazy because I recognise that I am still young and I stress myself for no reason. But what can I do when all I feel is pressure and stress about the lack of direction and motive that dominates my life? I know that I do not have an excuse not to know what I want to do in my life. On paper, I am an educated person with a job that I should adore. However, I am not happy. The sole things that give me pleasure is reading books and filming TikTok videos about them. Unfortunately, I cannot devote much time to these activities because I have to work in order to earn money to survive and to buy more books. 

This uncertainty in my life makes me doubt who I am as a whole. There are still many aspects of my personality and character that I know that I have to work on if I want to become a person that I can enjoy living with. One pressing aspect that I will try to focus on this year is talking more. The problem is that most of the times I don't even know how I feel, so it is extra difficult to communicate my emotions and thoughts to others. However, I see that if I keep keeping to myself and I do not share what is going on in my mind and heart, I will drive away all the people I love. This is why my fear that I will end up alone seems like an inevitable fate. 

To conclude, I thought that at the age of 25 I would have everything figured out and I would be leading a happy life. Things are not as I have been imagining that they would be, and this makes me feel like a failure. But this is not fair because it is not uncommon for dreams to turn into nightmares in real life. So, I will try to discover what makes me happy and stick to it. Wish me luck!

My previous birthday posts: 

20 🕯

21 🕯

22 🕯

23 🕯

24 🕯


My birthday book haul is coming up! 

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