Thoughts about my 26th birthday 🎂

This post should have been written and posted six months ago; I turned 26 in March. However, I only now feel in the mood to sit down and seriously think about my goals and desires at this point in my life.

One thing that I did not expect was the fact that exercise has become an integral part of my life. When I say 'exercise', I mean going to fitness classes. The upbeat music, the high energy of the instructors, and the one-hour full of movement with no thoughts are the things for me. Therefore, I can tell from personal experience that if you find the right exercise for you, working out will save your life as well. Unfortunately, this summer taught me that taking a long break from exercising brings back negative body image thoughts, so I need to work on that. For the time being, I'm excited for my gym's fitness classes to start again. 

The thing that I want to work on is to remember that I am not the only one who experiences negative feelings intensely. Everyone out there has pains and burdens on their shoulders. I say this because when I get down, I tend to close myself off, sulk, and not be my usual self. When this happens often, the people who are close to me are affected because they love me. My goal is to try to be clear, open, and honest with them about what is going on with me. Not  emotionally scarring them by confusing them with my behaviour is my way of respecting their love. In other words, I am not the centre of the universe.

Another part of life that I definitely need to work on is understanding my feelings. I have difficulty having a clear idea of what I like and what I don't. I feel like I'm going with the flow without knowing if I am heading in the direction I want. I don't know what I want. But I want to know. I want to be sure about things. I may embark on a journey to explore my subconscious and soul this year. 

My state of mind at my previous adult birthdays: 

20 🕯

21 🕯

22 🕯

23 🕯

24 🕯

25 🕯

And on a happier note: my birthday book haul in 2023!